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Yes, Flex Builder does provide relative path when resolving compiler arguments. The current directory will be the flex source directory.
Utilize headerRenderer and customize DataGridHeaderColumn.
I'll reduce your pain ... here is the summary of Flex components I've encountered so far. Please add on if you find any other useful components.
Use an intermediate variable with additional computation to do the transfer
I've created an open source maven archetype that allows to generate the application structure which employs Flex, BlazeDS, Spring framework. It's well integrated with Eclipse and Flex Builder
Using a singleton Service class to centralize your remote invocation. Using closure to execute your onResult function and return what you're interested in